CoD: Black Ops 2 – Future Fighty Fun Times

Dare I say it, the reveal trailer for this year’s instalment of the never ending Call of Duty franchise has got me a bit excited. Finally, a CoD developer is innovating. For ages now, gamers have been speculating about where the franchise can go, now that they’ve covered the past and the present, and the only obvious answer was the future. So it’s not very surprising that Treyarch have opted to move forward in time with their next FPS outing. What is surprising is the version of the future they have opted to explore. I imagine most people would have expected an over the top, ridiculous future with giant mechs and lasers flying all over the place. Refreshingly, Treyarch have created a future that feels startlingly real.

Black Ops 2 will be set in 2025. That sounds kinda far off now, but in fact when that year rolls around, I will be a sprightly 35 years old. I’ll be in my prime! Not only have they chosen a year that’s effectively just around the corner, Treyarch have designed a conflict that is totally plausible. The plot is based around a terrorist organisation taking control of a huge drone army. You might think that such a thing sounds like futuristic nonsense, but today the US DoD has thousands of drones at their disposal, worldwide, and some of them look positively futuristic.

This is a real drone!

It stands to reason that with such technology having proven highly effective in the past, the U.S. and other militaries would continue to expand their unmanned arsenal. You might think that such a powerful force would be impossible to take control of, but just last October a virus infected the U.S. drone fleet. Such an occurrence is a real potential danger, and it’s sure to make for a compelling single player campaign, which is long overdue where this franchise is concerned.

The fact that Treyarch is seeking to diversify the single player campaign with so called ‘Strike Missions’  tells me that for the first time in a long time, this will be a Call of Duty game that is not solely focused on repetitive multiplayer, with a paltry 5 hour campaign tacked on. In these Strike Missions you control a Black Ops unit, and you select a mission to undertake based on how the cold war between the US and China (not Russia, for once!) is progressing. Choosing one mission may cost you the opportunity to undertake others, and success is by no means guaranteed. As a result, you may find the single player campaign differing greatly on separate attempts, changing the course of the conflict with your success and failure.

As well as their narrative bending potential, the way these strike missions will be played really appeals to me. Supposedly, each mission will be a small sandbox, wherein you can choose which objectives to pursue first, which will potentially alter your chances for success. I imagine that carrying out objectives in a logical, stealthy order (these are black ops missions, after all) will decrease your chances of discovery, allowing you to complete more objectives before the shit hits the fan. Additionally, you choose as which unit you play as by zooming out to an RTS style overwatch view of the battlefield, then selecting a new unit to inhabit, be it flesh and blood soldier, or a walking tank. You can even issue orders through the overwatch mode, bringing in even more strategic options.

I must admit, I was ready to scoff at yet another annual Call of Duty, recycling old gameplay elements with a nonsensical story and repetitive multiplayer, but dare I say it, I’m excited. Treyarch have taken a risk in departing from the tried and tested CoD formula, and I for one can’t wait to see how it turns out.

The Walking Dead: The Game – Episode One

Warning: This review will contain spoilers, at least for my version of the game.

The above statement may confuse you. That’s because, on different playthroughs, it’s possible to have a very different experience in this game, and you will create a very different character. Although his name will always be Lee.

I’ll preface by saying that I haven’t played any of Telltale’s recent games, and point and click adventure games really vexed me when I played them as a kid. Some of the solutions were just nonsensical, and I would spend hours randomly clicking, hoping to find a relevant object. Thankfully, there’s none of that here.

I picked this game up because I’m a big fan of the Walking Dead comics, which is the universe in which this game is based, rather than the TV show. You should know that if you’re the sort of person who watches the show and finds yourself begging fore action and less exposition, then this game probably isn’t for you. In fact, the Walking Dead as a franchise isn’t for you. It’s about people, not about zombies. I wrote a whole dissertation on the subject, so don’t get me started.

Speaking of people, that’s what this game is all about. You play as Lee Everett, a man who may or may not be a murderer, who is on his way to prison when the world ends. After receiving a get out of jail free card, you are put in control of Lee, and it’s up to you to decide what sort of man he is. You’re soon paired up with a scared child named Clementine, and it’s up to you to guide Lee in keeping her safe.

As I said, this game is about people, and how you interact with them. This game features the best conversation system I have ever seen. There is no paragon and renegade system, and you can’t cycle through a conversation and explore every possible response. Instead, you are given a limited time to choose from a set of responses, and the game literally notes how your response is taken by other characters. Telltale says the way people perceive Lee is going to drastically affect future episodes, so you’d better think wisely and quickly about how you respond to probing questions.

This means that the game will have great replay value. You’re provided with three save slots, so you’re encouraged to see how different choices affect Lee’s journey. I created a prime save, that I’ll use for my continuing story, then I created a new save, so I could be an arse hole. And I discovered something that greatly surprised me: I didn’t like it. I found myself wanting to be kind to the characters I’d already bonded with in my first play through. Telltale have done a great job making you care for the characters, and even though I know that Clementine isn’t a real girl and she’s probably voiced by an adult (not to mention the fact that I hate kids), I find myself wanting to keep her safe.The voice acting is great, and so is the art style and animation. It all helps to draw you into the emotional experience.

Mushy emotions out of the way, I’m pleased to say that Telltale have not held back on the gore front, and there are some very satisfying kills. The controls work extremely well, as you move your character with the left stick and move a targeting reticule with the right, allowing you to highlight various objects or attack an oncoming zombie. It’s very fluid and sounds simple, but in the heat of the moment it can feel very tense, and it’s good fun. However, there aren’t many puzzles in this game so far, so hardcore adventure game fans may be disappointed. I am a huge rpg fan, and to me, this feels like a very pure rpg experience. You literally play a role, and you definite your main character as you see fit. No colour swaps here, I anticipate a great branching story line in later episodes that will feature varied, emotional endings.

 

 

Skyrim DLC Announced: Dawnguard

Today, Bethesda announced the first piece of DLC for Skyrim. It’s called Dawnguard, and so far, very little is known about it. All Bethesda have released is the following image, along with the fact that it will be initially XBox exclusive, and more will be revealed at E3.

 

Still wearing that helmet...

So far, speculation indicates that this DLC will involve Snow Elves and Crossbows. Hmm, sounds a bit Horse Armourish to me. Judging by the presence of what could be crossbow bolts on Dovahkiin’s back in the image above, I think the inclusion of crossbows is a safe bet. Not sure about the glowing eyes though. So far, I’m a little disappointed. Bethesda have previously said that they will be focusing on expansive DLC for Skyrim, more akin to the Shivering Isles for Oblivion and the large expansions to Morrowind. Still, it’s early days yet, and hopefully the E3 announcement will contain enough details to get me excited.

Game of Thrones: The Ghost of Harrenhal

This episode opens with the resolution of last weeks WTF cliffhanger, and the war of four kings is down to three (there was never five kings. Balon hasn’t crowned himself yet, and Renly’s dead. Mance doesn’t count). Just when it looked like an alliance would be forged, Stannis’ shadow awkwardly appeared and stabbed Renly. This scene felt a little strange, as if the actors were all waiting for a cue to react to an invisible presence, which I suppose they must have been. It felt awkward. Anyway, it was nice seeing Brienne show that she can fuck shit up. It was also interesting to see how visceral her grief was, as the show hadn’t really hinted at just how much she loved Renly.

The plot continues to surge forward, thankfully avoiding mid-season stagnation. Although not as bonkers as Garden of Bones, The Ghost of Harrenhal still provided plenty of plot momentum. Stannis has won himself an army, Jon Snow has escaped his boring duties as Steward, and Arya has a pet assassin! Oh, and Tyrion has wildfire. Lots of wildfire. I’m eagerly anticipating seeing Jon get some action next week, as he sets of with legendary range Qorin Halfhand to assassinate Mance Rayder.

Littlefinger is up to his usual tricks, promising the Tyrell siblings all that they desire (revenge for Loras and a crown for Margaery). I love Aiden Gillen’s facial expressions as Littlefinger, he can convey so much with one little smirk. We see again that Margaery is willing to do pretty much anything to win herself a crown. She would probably be less keen if she saw what Sansa has to put up with.

Davos is none to happy with Stannis, and he urges him not to take Melisandre to King’s Landing, for fear of rumours that she whispers orders in the would-be King’s ear. Thankfully, Stannis sees the wisdom in this, and he decides to leave her behind, showing that although he’s willing to use her when he needs to, now he has his army he is not willing to risk his victory being perceived as hers.

Although Jon Snow’s this week were mostly preamble and set up, the other non-Westeros plotline was packed with developments, as Dany teaches her dragons to feed themselves, pimps Doreah out to some Quartheen nobles, and receives a marriage proposal from Xaro. There were some nice comic scenes, such as the Dothraki demonstrating their unrelenting need to steal, and some eerie ones, like Pryat Pree’s creepy magic show and Quaithe’s cryptic warnings. However, they all lead up to a great scene showcasing the awkward dynamic between Dany and Jorah. It’s becoming clear that his feelings towards her go beyond his desire to see her on the iron throne, and now that she’s aware of this the dynamic between the two of them is sure to shift dramatically.

Meanwhile, Theon is learning that Iron Islanders don’t give much of a shit about who you are. Their respect is earned through deeds, not boasts. Thankfully he’s got a cunning new first mate to help him, and the two of them put together a cunning plan to steal Winterfell out from under the Starks. We later see that Bran falls for his plan, showing that he’s as honourable and as gullible as any other Stark. Any viewers canny enough to unravel the not-too-subtle symbolism of Bran’s latest dream will have a good idea of what is coming. I’ve got a feeling that Theon is going to become a real hate figure for viewers of the show, perhaps even more so than Joffrey. Alfie Allen is great at showing Theon’s arrogance and vulnerability, I just hope he’s capable of playing BAT SHIT CRAZY.

Arya’s journey has taken a turn for the better, as she finally starts being able to dole out some justice. It’s nice to finally see some really bad people get what they deserve on this show. Prior to this point, Tyrion’s been the only character doling out any much needed comeuppances, and then mostly verbally. However, I was sad to see the Tickler as Arya’s first victim, as this deprives us of one of my favourite scenes in the books (“IS THERE GOLD IN THE VILLAGE?!”). I was wrong about Tom Wlaschiha. He’s really nailing the mysterious foreign assassin, and I can’t wait to see more scenes between Arya and her new mentor (of sorts).

Yet again Maisie Williams gets one of the best scenes of the episode, successfully staring down Tywin Lannister of all people, and even managing to get in a slight threat. Oh, and her teaching Gendry how to sword fight was pretty funny. The show is doing a good job of humanising Tywin. You get the sense that he is weary, that he never wanted this war with the Starks, and that he’s much more similar to Tyrion than he is to his other, taller children. Speaking of Tyrion, it was cool to see the public in King’s Landing, and their reaction to, and perception of Lannister rule. We learn that many people believe that Tyrion is the malignant force in the city’s government, when in fact he’s the only one working in a sane fashion to protect the people of the city. This is a problem that Tyrion has always and will always face, be it from his father, his sister, or the people he rules over. Due to his size, he will always be looked down upon, and never appreciated. When Bronn tells him that the people think he is a monster, he seems disappointed, and genuinely surprised, but only for a moment. He’s used to this sort of treatment, as we’ve seen from his conversations with Cersei.

Like some episodes last season, I can’t help but feel that we’re a little pressed for time in this episode, as there is a lot packed in. As a fan of the book I was instantly aware that Theon’s boat, Sea Bitch, must be a lot faster than she looks to have been able to reach Torrhen’s Square in just a couple of days, but that’s TV for you. Still, I suppose such compromises must be made to keep so many different story lines moving at a coherent place. GRRM himself seems to struggle most with getting the right characters to the right place at the right time, so I suppose it’s not surprising that the show would face similar issues.

Game of Thrones: Garden of Bones

First off, OMG THE TITLE RHYMES. That shouldn’t make me nearly this happy, but it does. As always, full spoilers of this episode to follow.

I think this might be the most fucked up episode yet, full of torture, amputation and scary shadow demons, and I loved it. We’re introduced to a bunch of new characters, along with two new key locations, and we’re treated to plenty of great dialogue as the plot advances.

I loved the opening of this episode. It was a stark (sorry) reminder that not all Lannister soldiers are evil, as the previous episode would have us believe. It was nice to see two men at arms having a conversation that I’m sure many fans have had- who would win in a fight between x and y? I was intrigued to see that rumours of Renly’s bed time preferences have spread as far as the lowly foot soldiers. Sadly, such merriment was short lived, as Grey Wind arrived to turn the poor soldiers inside out.

Immediately after this we meet Roose Bolton. Whilst he wasn’t as creepy as I’d imagined him, Roose was perfectly calm and seemingly normal, until he started talking about flaying Lannister officers. He’s definitely someone that new viewers will be keeping an eye on. Next, we meet Oona Chaplin’s character, who was reported to be named Jeyne, but gives the name Alyssa, or maybe it was Talissa, I don’t know, it was hard to hear. If she is indeed Jeyne Westerling, as was indicated when she was cast, I’m really interested in how HBO are going to change Robb’s romance on screen. It seems to me like he’s going to fall for this strong willed foreigner, only to find that she is in fact the daughter of one of his enemies’ vassals. I honestly think that would be more compelling than what happens ‘off-screen’ in the books, where Jeyne nurses Robb, they have sex, and he marries her out of honour.

Down south in King’s Landing we learn that, yep, Joffrey’s still a raging arsehole, and so are his cronies, Ser Lancel and Ser Meryn. It was nice to see a brief glimpse of the Hound’s look of distaste as Joffrey ordered Sansa’s beating. Luckily, Tyrion arrives before any real damage is done. It was refreshing to see someone teaching Joffrey a lesson, even if it’s bound to come back and bite Tyrion in the arse. This episode reinforced my love for Bronn. I reckon he could easily take Ser Meryn, he spends his days beating up teenage girls. Jerome Flynn gets to deliver what is easily the best line of the entire show: “There’s no cure for being a cunt.” How right you are, Bronn.

Speaking of Joffrey fighting back against Tyrion, he really shows his most sadistic side when he decides to send a message to his uncle. I’m concerned about the show’s treatment of King Joff, as I’ve previously mentioned. We know that Joffrey’s a cunt. They’ve shown that plenty of times. In the novels Joffrey is arrogant and petulant, and somewhat twisted, but he’s not yet a full blown psychopath. I’m worried that the show is making him into an evil caricaturefor the sake of having a clear villain on the show, which is otherwise populated with ambiguous, well rounded characters.

Later on we get to see Tyrion does what he does best, which is schooling some arrogant fool in how the game of thrones is played. Lancel goes from an arrogant, haughty knight to a snivelling child in about 10 seconds, and Tyrion gains another informant. As he keeps saying, Tyrion is not Ned Stark, and he intends to keep all of his extremities attached to his body.

Arya and Gendry continue to have the most compelling plot, going from peril to peril. Now they’re imprisoned in the ruins of Harrenhal, which looks appropriately huge and terrifying. The scenes of torture make you really worry about the fate of these two beloved characters in a show where plot armour is often shown to be asreliable as a shield made of rice pudding. We get to see Arya’s first nightly revenge-prayer, which is something I think that non-book readers will latch onto and really enjoy, especially as her kill list continues to grow.

The Tickler was, I thought, superbly played. I don’t know the name of the actor they cast, but he’s perfect. He just seems so calm and casual when he’s torturing these innocent people in a pretty horrific (and creative) way. I noticed that the Mountain was re cast, which seemed pointless to me, though I suppose it must have been down to some scheduling conflict. Thankfully, Lord Tywin arrives just in time (the Lannister men seem to be doing a lot of that this week), and proves that although he can be cold and calculating, he is not a cruel man. He insists that the prisoners be put to work, saving Gendry and Arya, and points out that Arya is, in fact, a girl. I’m looking forward to seeing their scenes together, as Tywin actually came across as quite likable when he was speaking to Arya. Who knows, maybe we’ll see a softer side of the old lion.

In Renly’s camp, Littlefinger is up to his usual tricks, trying to act innocent in order to build himself an insurance policy, should the Lannister’s fall. His scene with Catelyn was stunning, and seeing the way that the sight of Cat going from fierce and angry to almost broken with grief was really emotional. I can’t believe that so many GoT fans were outraged by Michelle Fairley being cast as Cat. She stole the show this week, and the music in this scene was incredible. We then see what passes for negotiations between Renly and Stannis, and it really hammers home just how different these two brothers are. I found myself unable to root for either one of them, as they both have their flaws. I reckon GRRM will surprise everyone and put Gendry on the Iron Throne, when all’s done.

Daenerys finally gets somewhere! She manages to gain access to Qarth, despite acting like a true Targaryen, i.e. mental, arrogant and angry. This scene was a stark reminder that even Dany is susceptible to the Targaryen crazy gene. Xaro came across as very imposing, yet charming, and I think seeing him try to romance the Khaleesi will be interesting. Also, I think I spotted Pryat Pree amongst the Thirteen, and damn that guy looks creepy.

Despite Catelyn stealing the show this week, I think it’s the final scene that will get everyone’s tongues a-wagging. We finally hear some of Davos’ history with Stannis, explaining why he is so fiercely loyal to his king, and the his king orders him to do something he is clearly not comfortable with. Stannis’ strong sense of honour clearly doesn’t prohibit him from using dark magic to assassinate his only brother!

We learn that Melisandre’s views on good and evil are different from Stannis’, and she comes across as being very otherworldly in this scene. I thought the shadow demon baby looked incredible, and I’m glad that the showrunners decided to really go for it in this bizare, fantasy heavy scene, rather than tone things down. Also, even as a veteran reader of the books I still don’t have a handle on Melisandre. She’s demonstrated time and time again that her god, R’hllor, has legitimate power, but we still don’t know for sure who she serves. Her ability to birth a demon on short notice seems to indicate that she’s not necessarily a force for good.

Either way, this episode’s closing scene reminds us that, although it has been forgotten, magic does still exist in Westeros. Dragons, Others, and now a shadow demon. The night is dark and full of terrors.

 

Game of Thrones: What is Dead May Never Die

Warning: Full spoilers for this episode to follow.

Even more new characters are introduced in this episode, exacerbating my fears that I won’t get to see my besties. Robb is nowhere to be seen, and neither is Daenerys, so presumably those two weren’t up to much this week. Thankfully, Jon Snow’s cliffhanger from the end of the last episode is resolved immediately. We learn that Craster is a real bastard, but he is someone the underfunded and undermanned Night’s Watch often has to rely on. It seems like Mormont is constantly having to remind Jon that being in the Night’s Watch is kind of shit. I honestly don’t know how Jon keeps forgetting that. Sadly, that’s all we get from north of the wall.

For me, the highlight of this episode was the progression of Arya’s story. Whilst this episode seemed to move things along across the board more than the previous episodes of this season, it’s Arya’s story that takes the most dramatic turn. Like Syrio Forel before him, Yoren has died defending Arya, and like Syrio before him, he went out like the badass he is. I can’t help but think that the deaths of all the protective men in Arya’s life is going to really mess her up. I loved the understated conversation between Arya and Yoren, and I thought it was cool that the writers decided to make Yoren the inspiration for Arya’s nightly prayer, as well as giving Yoren a backstory that never gets explored in the books. Lommy’s death was quite chilling, reminding us that even the Lannister’s foot soldiers are cold bastards.

At Winterfell we see a really cool scene of characters (Hodor!) reacting differently as the camera moves past them at a low level, before springing onto Bran’s bed as he awakes, and stares up at his wolf, Summer. I thought it was a great way of showing Bran’s wolf dreams, and afterwards we get some insight into the more magical side of Westeros, and a mention of the Children of the Forest. I really like Maester Luwin in the show, acting as Bran’s father figure rather than just an adviser, which how he seemed in the novels.

Over on Pyke we get to see some drama amongst the Greyjoys. Last week was about exposition, and exploring the history of why Theon was living with the Stark’s, and this week was the fallout of years of resentment. Theon not only hates his father, he also desperately wants to be loved by him, and this great scene shows just how messed up the usually arrogant Theon really is. He confronts Balon over his open hostility, blaming him for surrendering him to the Stark’s, and Balon has no answer. We also learn that Balon is planning to attack the North while Robb is away at war, prompting a dilemma for Theon: does he aid his estranged father, or warn his adopted brother? He needs to make a decision quickly, and he has no one to advise him. I liked that they showed him writing a letter of warning to Robb, as Theon in the novels seemed to side with his father without any deliberation. However, the fact that he burns the letter shows that he doesn’t have the strength to oppose his father, and he succumbs to his boyish need to be loved by his family.

Tyrion continues his purge of untrustworthy advisers in King’s Landing, aiming to remove all who betrayed Ned Stark, and this week he’s turned his attention to Grand Maester Pycelle. He weeds some information out of the old coward, including the fact that he let Jon Arryn die, reminding us of a major mystery from Season 1. I liked seeing Tyrion strutting around with his cronies, and it was great to see the return of Shagga. “There are no goats, halfman!” The scene preceding this, of Tyrion planting false information with various members of the small council, is my favourite of the show so far. The writing and editing is truly masterful, and we learn that “Harrenhal is cursed,” a useful piece of information to bear in mind when we get to episode 5.

Cersei’s scene with Tyrion was interesting. They dispensed with the usual thinly concealed barbs and witticisms, instead having Cersei fly into a fit of rage over Tyrion’s plans to marry Myrcella off. It’s nice to see that she does love her children, and isn’t as in control as he thought. Speaking of rage, it was nice to see Littlefinger lose his cool after discovering that Tyrion has outmaneuvered him. It seems like things haven’t been going at all well for him recently, having been shown that both Tyrion and Cersei are more powerful than him. On that note, Tyrion’s conversation with Varys on the nature of power was interesting, considering Cersei’s recent demonstration on the subject. Conleth Hill is perfect as Varys, and I hope we get to see more of him as the season continues.

One thing that’s really annoying me about the show is Shae. They’ve really gotten her all wrong. Not only is the ex porn star they hired to play her really irritating, I just can’t see why Tyrion wants to risk keeping her around. In the novels, Shae was sweet enough for me to understand why Tyrion has any interest in her, but show-Shae is a real pain. She even brings out the bitch in poor downtrodden Sansa.

Finally, we have Renly’s camp, where we meet his odd looking bride, Margaery Tyrell. While the show hasn’t given us much information on house Tyrell, it’s clear that they know what it takes to seize power, with Loras urging Renly to consummate his marriage and Margaery telling him that she’ll essentially have a threesome with he brother, if that’s what it takes. And so the incest continues.

I thought that seeing that although Renly has a huge numerical advantage, his reluctance to do any real fighting shows that his strengths lie in his charisma, rather than his ability as a general, a huge contrast with his older brother Stannis. Cat soon puts him in his place, declaring that “My son is fighting a war, not playing at one”. Brienne was superbly cast (man, is she tall!), and I’m looking forward to seeing more scenes between her and Cat. In fact, I’m looking forward to any scenes down south in Renly-town.

Game of Thrones: The Night Lands

And so the incest continues! Man, Theon’s return home is not going according to plan so far. It was great to see Pyke though, they’ve totally nailed the Iron Islands. And i loved Balon Greyjoy’s kraken fireplace, too cool. However, whilst it was great seeing Theon’s home for the first time and getting some extended Arya scenes, I couldn’t help but feel that the introduction of a new location had an impact on the rest of the show. Sure, giving the Greyjoys a lot of screen time made sense as it was their first appearance, but I just hope that in future episodes the time is distributed a little more evenly. Also, I mentioned in my previous post that Dany’s storyline might drag a bit. Well, apparently that won’t be the case, as once again she was hardly present in this episode.

As I said, we get to see plenty of Arya and her gang of misfits on their way north, and I loved the way that Yoren handled the Goldcloak, he’s a bit more of a badass than he was in the books. Jaqen H’gar was introduced at last, and I’m sad to say that I was a little disappointed. His appearance wasn’t very striking, and he just mumbled a bit. There was no sense that he would be of significance at any point, and I can imagine that viewers unfamiliar with the books would have disregarded him entirely.

With Theon we finally get to see just how messed up this guy is. Despite viewing Robb Stark as a brother, he is desperate to please his estranged father, and unable to come to terms with the fact that he no longer belongs in his own home. His father views him as a weakling raised by his enemies, despite having been the person that gave him away.  To add to Theon’s misery, he feels that his sister has usurped his position as heir to the Iron Islands. Oh, and he groped her. That’s got to be embarrassing.

Jon Snow’s story has become something of an ensemble piece, which makes sense as he’s traveling with almost the entirety of the Night’s Watch. I think that ending Jon’s scenes, and the episode, with Jon seeing an ‘Other’ was an effective way of reminding viewers that the Night’s Watch doesn’t just exist to chase off wildlings. As long as Jon seeing a mythical creature gets considerable discussion in the next episode, I’m happy with this deviation from the books.

As I mentioned, Dany’s appearance in this episode was brief, but quite intense. I was saddened by Rakharo’s death and Irri’s grief, and this marked a rare occasion where the show surprised me killing someone who was a long term character in the novels. Still, other than that, Dany isn’t up to much.

Over on Dragonstone, I absolutely loved the introduction Salladhor Saan, a character I never really cared for in the books. He brings some necessary comic relief, and had me in stitches. I’m a little disappointed in Davos’ treatment on the show. Although they make it clear that he’s totally loyal to Stannis, they’ve yet to show why, and I think that Davos’ backstory is one of the coolest in the whole series, and I sincerely hope it’s examined on the show in some depth. Meanwhile, Stannis himself is shown to be somewhat weaker willed than we might have imagined, as Melisandre seduces him with the promise of a male heir. This goes to show that although she seems to be on Stannis’ side, she’s really just using him for her own ends, and she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty to do so.

Finally, I’m going to talk about Tryion, Ohh Tyrion, I’m so glad you have some opponents worthy of your verbal sparring skills. Last season Tyrion was stuck with bantering with hill tribes, Bronn and crazy Lysa. Now we see him going toe to toe with the likes of Varys and Littlefinger we can come to appreciate Tyrion’s intelligence. I was surprised and pleased by Tyrion appointing Bronn as head of the Goldcloaks, and I’m curious to see how their employer/employee relationship develops from here. It’s easy to forget that Bronn’s a mercenary, and he might just betray Tyrion if the money’s right. Seeing Janos Slynt get his comeuppance was fun, too, but not as gratifying as seeing Tyrion stick up for the Night’s Watch. It’s nice to know that there’s at least one person in the capital that remembers they exist.

All in all a strong episode, albeit a bit light on a few key characters. It was definitely one of those ‘in-between’ episodes, where there’s a bit of slow development without anything monumental occurring, setting the scene for later, more significant episodes. I liked seeing Littlefinger’s brutal side when he ‘comforted’ Ros, and we come to learn that it was Joffrey who ordered the murder of all those children, showing that he truly is evil and out of Cersei’s control. I’m looking forward to seeing more of Arya’s journey though, and to learn more about Davos

Game of Thrones: The North Remembers

Finally, the wait is over! I had been literally counting down the days until April first arrived, terrified of some cruel April Fools joke by HBO. Thankfully, HBO knows not to annoy a horde of GoT fans, many of whom probably own replica swords.

And so season two arrived with a rather busy opening episode. The main challenge the show’s producers face is the sheer size of the cast, and it must be tough to decide who to show and when, and for how long. Although this episode felt a little cluttered, I think it was necessary in order to show the major characters and remind us who is doing what after season one. Also, without Ned Stark around to act as a focal point for the series, I’m interested to see how they distribute time between the different characters.

The episode kicks off with a huge reminder that, yes, Joffrey’s still evil. I’m a little concerned with the development of Joffrey. I know that the show needs a definite antagonist, what with so many ambiguous characters hanging around, but they run the risk of making King Joff a little too cartoonish in his evil. That said, I loved this scene, with Sansa trying to save serve Dontos, and Sandor unexpectedly backing her up. I can’t wait to see some more San-San interaction.

Then we see Tyrion’s big entrance, reminding everyone that hey, there’s a war going on and the kingdom’s a mess. Going from the most hated character on the show to possibly the most loved works well, as it’s very cathartic for us to see Tyrion verbally annihilating his antagonists. Dinklage is still a true pleasure to watch, and I can’t wait to see him ruffle some more feathers now that he’s finally back in civilisation.

We are reminded that Tyrion has in fact been away for months, and his purpose in returning to King’s Landing is to bring Joffrey into line, which is sure to prove quite interesting, especially due to the heated exchange between Cersei and Joffrey later in the episode. When Joff threatens to harm his own mother should she slap him again, you believe that he’s not bluffing, and that frightens Cersei.

Speaking of Cersei, I loved seeing her totally own Littlefinger. The nature of power is something that is often discussed in this series, and seeing Cersei demonstrate that “Power is power” reminds us that being smart or cunning or right isn’t enough if you don’t have the swords to back it up. This exchange also reminds us that a whole lot of people now seem to know about Joffrey’s parentage, which is highlighted by Robb Stark taunting Jaime with the knowledge, before terrifying him by unleashing his direwolf, Grey Wind, who looks truly badass as a full CGI wolf. I was worried about how the wolves would look now they’re no longer played by real dogs, but thankfully they look ok so far.

We get to see our other favourite characters too, with Bran learning what it means to be a lord in Winterfell (mostly listening to boring requests), with Donald Sumpter continuing to be a wonderful presence as Maester Luwin. We don’t see Arys until the end of the episode, and then only briefly, but I’m sure she’s got some great scenes coming up later this season. North of the wall, we finally get to see Dolorous Edd, one of my favourite characters from the books, and we see that, much like his father, Jon’s honorable nature is likely to land him in trouble.

Finally, and probably the most important point to discuss, is the introduction of Stannis and Melisandre, two hugely important new characters. We see that Mel is the real deal, with her Red God seeming to provide her with certain powers, which acts as a reminder that although magic is all but forgotten in Westeros, it’s making a comeback.

I really enjoyed the scene in which Stannis dictates a letter declaring himself King. It shows that Stannis is all about the truth- he removes the line declaring his love for his dead brother, Robert, saying “I didn’t love him!” and despite insisting that Jaime’s informal title of Kingslayer be included in the letter, he still concedes that he is “Ser Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer. Whatever else he is the man’s still a knight.”

All things considered, I think “The North Remembers” was a great start to season 2, effectively introducing the new key players whilst reminding us of the old, using the clever visual cue of the red comet overhead to link all of the distant characters together. My one concern is that there was very little Daenerys action, and that her story line will be rather slow this season. Also, with Robb Stark receiving more screen time than he did pages in the book, I’m concerned that Jon and Arya’s stories might suffer as a consequence. Hopefully, I will be proved wrong.

LA Noire

LA Noire is unique. Rockstar has never made a game like it before, and neither has anyone else. Rather than playing a gansgter or a bandit, you play a 1940s cop, trying to uncover corruption on the streets of LA, and within the LAPD itself.

That may sound exciting, but it isn’t. Not really. However, it is rather interesting. LA Noire does have it’s share of shootouts, fist fights and car chases, and while these are all very functional, they are not the core gameplay of LA Noire. The game focuses on clue collection and suspect interrogation, both of which require the player to be very methodical.

Clue collection can be a bit of a drag, and I sometimes found myself resorting to repeatedly tapping ‘A’ as I wandered a crime scene, hoping to find the final piece of evidence that would stop the investigation music, indicating that all relevant evidence had been found. Let me tell you, there’s only so many times a person can endure Cole Phelps picking up an empty beer bottle and declaring “This doesn’t tell me anything.”

Thorough clue collection is vital, though, to get the best out of the game’s interrogations, which is Rockstar’s main selling point. Using new MotionScan technology, LA Moore delivers every nuance of every performance from what is essentially the cast of Mad Men. Every twitch, blink and swallow is the work of an actor, not an animator. Whilst this tech is very impressive and has a lot of potential, I found it to have its flaws. Maybe its because all of the actors appear to have skin made of raw pancake batter. Whilst playing in third person free roam mode, a la Red Dead or GTA, the graphics are fine. However, when entering an interrogation the camera switches to a first person view, where the textures seem very low Res and blotchy. Also, all the characters’ arms look much too short. I find it unnerving.

Another problem I had with the interrogations is that when a suspect is lying, they don’t behave like someone who is lying. They behave like an actor who is showing that they are lying. Never in the long history of lying has a person told a lie, then instantly narrowed their eyes and glanced from side to side. Almost exactly like the shifty eyed dog from The Simpsons! I understand that the developers wouldn’t want to make it too difficult to detect a lie, but it makes the whole experience feel somewhat farcical.

Sadly, there are no real consequences in LA Noire. You cannot fail a case for arresting someone with insufficient evidence,you just receive a lower rating at the end.of the case.
Be warned, I am now going to discuss some spoilers.
During the homicide desk missions, I scored four or five stars on every case. Despite this, it turns out I had arrested a whole bunch of innocent men. This left me feeling that my rigorous ‘tap A for all eternity’s crime scene investigation method was a waste of time, because apparently.clues don’t mean shit. And why did all the suspects do the shifty eye routine and basically admit to murder if they were innocent? Maybe they all wanted to go to jail to get away from their kids.
Whilst this series of forced blunders was necessary for the narrative, it undermined the core.gameplay mechanics. When i eventually discovered who the real killer was, I felt like I was in a Scooby Doo cartoon. The bartender.did it, and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!

The rest of the narrative felt equally.pointless. It chronicels Cole Phelps’ fall from grace whilst he attempts.to uncover corruption in the city, and explores his actions in WWII through awkward, cheap oolooking flashback sequences. His fall from grace largely comes down to him cheating on a wife he never mentions (I didn’t even know he was married!) With an irritating drug addicted jazz Singer. Eventually he redeems.himself and uncovers the corruption, but there are no consequences for the villains. And you know what? I don’t even care that Cole redeems homself because frankly, he’s a dick.

LA Noire is an interesting, if flawed game, that had a lot of potential. I felt like it would benefit from being shorter and more concise, with a more satisfying sense of closure at the end. What could have been a valiant stride in a new direction for videogames ended up being more.of an awkward stumble.

Hesher Review

I think I have a new favourite film.

My sensibilities are skewed rather heavily towards the dark end of the spectrum, and as a result, HESHER pressed all the right buttons for me. The film is composed of a perfect blend of dark drama and traumatic events, punctuated by plenty of laugh out loud lines from Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Hesher. Now i know that sounds like said lines are wedged uncomfortably into a bleak drama, but due to the chaotic nature of the eponymous character, they fit right in. Hesher is a waster who does whatever he wants whenever he feels like it, and a lot of the humour comes from him saying exactly the right thing in exactly the wrong way. Although his apparent joy of tormenting grief-stricken child TJ (played by Devin Brochu) and his father Paul (played by Rainn Wilson) seems a little too much at first, you come to realise that Hesher doesn’t mean any genuine harm. Although he doesn’t seem to care much when he inadvertently causes it.

Brochu and Wilson deliver strong performances as the grieving and often at-odds father and son, creating a stagnant and unpleasant family dynamic for Hesher to shake up. Although the film appears to teeter dangerously close to the edge of sentimentality at times, Hesher’s method of twisting and delivering certain sentimental messages using his own semi-oblivious metaphors prevents the film from crashing into hallmark territory. The writing is excellent, and the film keeps up a strong enough pace with enough dramatic moments to maintain a viewer’s interest. One particular sequence, when TJ re-lives a certain traumatic event that demonstrates just how radically his life has changed, will leave you curling your toes and begging for mercy, but Gordon-Levitt’s irreverence soon that this film, as with life itself, is about finding a reason to laugh at shitty situations.

Natalie Portman harks back to Garden State in her role as awkward downtrodden supermarket cashier that TJ falls for and Hesher sort of befriends. She’s likable enough in the role, and manages to ground the film to a world outside of the hopeless grieving family, but she doesn’t get up to anything all that memorable, serving mainly to drive a wedge between Hesher and TJ. Rainn Wilson, as depressed and despondent father Paul manages to be both frustrating and sympathetic, but it’s not until the film’s final third that you realise how far he’s fallen, and his apparent recovery at the end of the movie following some indifferent prompting from Hesher seems a little forced. Still, Wilson is refreshingly un-funny and his character works well in showing why TJ is as withdrawn and angry as he seems to be. Although some might find it too hard ,as I did at first, to believe that Paul and his ageing and doddery mother (played by Piper Laurie) would fail to realise the age difference between Hesher and PJ, and that Hesher has essentially invaded their house, it later becomes clear that these are people at their wit’s end, almost completely worn down by grief. Sure it’s still a little far-fetched, and maybe it’s just due to the huge downer I’m currently on, but I found it perfectly believable that people can just be overwhelmed by life, and cease giving a fuck as a result.

So like I’ve said, I think this film’s great. But then, you might disagree. If you’re a happy, well-adjusted person unfamiliar with such feelings as frustration and bitterness then, well, there might not be much here for you. If you feel like laughing at the shit the universe throws at us, then this one’s for you.